Friday, July 1, 2011

The Lesser of Three Breakfast Evils: Floyd's Diner

Floyd's Diner, 866 Yates Street, Victoria, BC

I've had some bad experiences in the past at Floyd's, so my approval of this diner is a very tentative, qualified approval. What I like about Floyd's is the spacious interior and relative ease in getting a table here just about any time of day, including during the busy hangover holiday breakfast rush.

Today we got up early and craved one of those greasy, starchy, evil breakfasts - the kind we all crave at least a few times a year. Living downtown and getting around on foot, our primary issue today was proximity - get me to the nearest heart attack breakfast, and get me there fast! Our first stop was Blue Fox. As much as I've slagged Blue Fox on YRS, I actually don't mind their lunches, and occasionally a breakfast. But I have one rule about dining there. I refuse to wait in any lineup because I simply don't think the food is worth waiting for. This morning, we arrived at Blue Fox to only a couple other people waiting in line. "Sorry," I said to my wife, "can't do it. To do it, I'd be in violation of my Blue Fox Rule." So we moved on to the next closest option: Floyd's Diner.

Much to our delight and expectation, Floyd's had ample space in their sprawling dining room, which I've always thought is John's Place with a different floor plan and less of the ornamental nostalgia crap adorning the walls. However, on one of its walls, Floyd's now has big blow-up photos of baby and kid pictures of their staffers, which I find horrifically vain and weirdly discomforting as a patron. Nevertheless, we walked right in and sat down, ordered, ate and left all in a span of about 23 minutes. So kudos to Floyd's for no lineup and prompt service. 

One service pet peeve: I don't like it when a server greets me and my wife as "hey guys!" like we've known each other for years. For starters, one of us isn't a guy. Further, we are not your friend, so please stop with the overly friendly, phony-bubbly, tip-massaging banter. Just fill the coffee cup, take the orders, bring the food and clear the plates in a prompt fashion and all will be fine, your tip secured in the 15-to-25% range.

The breakfast at Floyd's is the same grease and starch overkill you get at Blue Fox and John's Place. I thought my omelette today at Floyd's was way too expensive, ringing in at over 13 bucks. My wife's basic two egg plate rang in at over 10 bucks. Jesus, I hope they're using the most local, sought after, organically-nurtured free range eggs money can buy because no diner omelette should be costing $13 plus change.

If I was forced at gunpoint to decide on breakfast at either Floyd's, Blue Fox or John's Place, I'd reluctantly choose Floyd's. Not because of the food, but because of the lack of lineups and the very spacious seating arrangement, which gives you a chance to breathe, relax and stretch out without knocking over a neighbour's coffee or hearing what said table neighbour did last at the bar.

Floyd's Diner on Urbanspoon